I saw it today, for myself. Have you ever been so blinded, b.. (OnlyFans)

I saw it today, for myself. Have you ever been so blinded, by obligations, that a significant progress was invisible? 
I think we've all been there. With the supervision of medical advice and experts in the fields of study, I've consistently lost 17% of my body weight. That's a big deal for me. 
Since my divorce, I've battled with my weight, almost like a security blanket. It's been an excuse. 
Recently, I've been accepting knowledge and advice from others, people who've lost weight, safely. 
That's a hush-hush topic Pornstar aren't supposed to talk about with the public. Drugs. Alcoholism.Addictions. Eating disorders. Nearly 95-99.9% of ALL performers have had experience with at least one. 
Taboo? Yes. More than the fantasies of sisters fucking their brothers or daddies pounding their daughters. 
I'm learning to come to terms with those scripts, but, I'm not quite there, yet. It's been a wretched interruption in my performing activities, like my weight. Nonetheless, most Pornstars will do these roles like it's no big deal......like the hush-hush practices of drugs to manage weight.
Cocaine, heroin, methamphetamines, even some strains of marijuana control appetites.
Like some of those distasteful scripts, I absolutely fucking refused to be a part of it.
What's right and comfortable for some may not be right for others. I don't knock my colleagues for performing those roles, or, for managing their weight recreationally. That's right for them. That's their comfort.
For me, my body and mind come before my job. Should the job disappear, like they sometimes do. I've got to be okay with what's left behind the loss- my health, mental and physical.
For years, I've been told bigger is better. Don't lose weight. Feminine is thick, plump,  luscious. I AGREE! Hips, thighs, rear ends shout, "Woman," to me.
So, no drugs or eating disorders allowed, I've chosen to accept professional help and the unyielding generosity of others. 
I've got a chip on my shoulder. Yes, an undercover vendetta to settle. This industry told me I'm too big to do some roles, too thin to do others.
Fuck 'em. 
Only here,  on OnlyFans, will you see the big reveal. When I reach a 60lb loss, by June, I'll be getting bigger implants, because I want to, because it's something I want for me. My reward for telling the status quo to go fuck itself. You'll see it happening...... I'm so glad you're all a part of my victory!