I'm terrified of flying, have a crippling fear of it. Some .. (OnlyFans)

I'm terrified of flying,  have a crippling fear of it. Some people do, each has their own reasons. 
Ten years ago, on my way home from my last (set of orders) TDY, I was excited about a job well done, looking forward to seeing my small children. About an hour into the flight, the C5 that was transporting the troops experienced catastrophic mechanical failure, forcing a successful, emergency landing. Shit happens, right? After a few hours, everyone boarded another plane, a different C5(big mamma jamma plane, ) and got underway. The mood of the masses was jubilant, impatient. We had been away from home and just wanted to get to where we were going, see husbands, wives, children, friends. 
As soon as the aircraft reached 30,000 feet,  ANOTHER catastrophic mechanical failure occurred. Different plane. 
My only thought: today is the day I'm going to die. 
Smoke filled the entire plane, alarms and lights were searing out senses. Crew reacted with stern, no-bullshit type instructions, the result of years of training. 
Still..... two failing airplanes in one night. Their firm, forced confidence wasn't quite enough to calm the fear of the inexperienced.  The second airplane was successfully landed, hundreds of miles from our destination.....
I cried. I cried like I didn't give a flying fuck who saw. I didn't care. In uniform, sobbing like a baby, I looked up to the sky and thanked God for not taking me that night. I thanked him through crushing anxiety, that I'd get to see my family one more time. 
About two hours later, the Air Force secured another flight, the third try to get us home. 
I staunchly took the hint from the Man Upstairs, took a bus......
Everyone made it home. The third flight was a success. I, and a few others, elected not to take chances. 
It took me years to get back onto a plane after that night. I forced myself to take a 45 minute flight, to LA, for work. Waited a few more months, had to go to San Francisco. Waited another year, had to fly to Miami......
I ever flown several times since that night. This will be the first time I'm flying overseas. 
There will be chardonnay involved in my preflight preparations. My late father, may God rest his soul, was a good man. He taught me how to be happy, at peace, during times of turmoil and stress. He would always tell me that family comes first, above everything - money, lust, and fear. 
So, I'll get on that plane, tell myself about myself, saying the same Hail Mary upon take off that I prayed the same night my life changed forever.