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Real fat girls chug ice cream for breakfast!! I woke up first thing in the morning, still bleary-eyed, and started to chug the ice cream that my husband had left out on the counter when he went to work. "I want this gone before you eat anything else," he told me. "A pint of this is 1500 calories. That way, everything else you eat for the rest of the day sticks to your fat gut."

I make quick work of the thick strawberry cheesecake ice cream, guzzling it down and dripping it down my lips. It's so sweet and sugary, I can't help but smack my lips and burp. I even play with my gut, jiggling it and showing off how fat I've gotten. Dairy makes me so bloated...

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