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This photo is kind of legendary. It was the first ever sexy pic I sent to a boy and my first ever nsfw post on the internet. Who would've thought it all began with the booty? I had to double-check and scroll all the way down to the bottom of my reddit profile just to confirm this because I was 100% sure it was a tiddy pic. Turns out I was too shy to show tiddy back then LOL. A lot has changed in the past two years and I can only thank you guys for helping me with my low self-esteem. <3 I am still in the process of loving myself properly, but I really really hated every inch of my body back then and I am mad at myself for that. I was always incredibly insecure and thought every compliment is just pity in disguise. I don't know if I should be sharing this, but most of my life I had someone constantly beat me down and tell me I'm worthless multiple times a day. I used to be a very skinny flat af girl and that paired with super long hair ensured quite a few modeling opportunities. That is, until puberty hit. I was mocked for everything, especially eating and I had to sneakily eat my food hiding somewhere, usually the restrooms, because I was scared of being told off. I've been told to be embarrassed when my boobs grew as I started developing the body I have now, I've been told my boobs only grow because I'm fat. So I tried losing weight to the point of starving myself and becoming ill. At one point I was officially underweight and seeing photos of myself from back then made me cry a bit not gonna lie. I still thought I was fat when my ribs were poking out. I was wearing bras that were way too small for me and left my shoulders and boobs bruised because "girls my age don't need such big bras". There's been many many times I've been made to feel like trash and I can't talk about most of it still because it fills me with rage, I remember exactly how helpless I felt and I just want to go back and help little me. Those feelings of worthlessness and all those insecurities, they all came with me into my adult life and made me miss out on countless things. Schools, jobs, relationships, friendships. I kind of gave up on myself. I'm still learning to see myself for what I really am. And if I can achieve that by taking pictures of my naked body then so be it. I make others happy and they make me happy too. I feel like I am being genuinely appreciated and it's harder to brush off as "people trying to be nice because they feel bad for me". Sorry guys I got into my feels a little bit there, but I know you're sometimes surprised when I make comments on me not actually liking the way I look so I thought it might not be too out of place to shed a bit of light on why I sometimes still feel that way. : ) I hope you are having a good day today, thank you for always being there for me!

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